Hidden secrets
by iceprincessrules
Summary: arthur just can't stand the fact that his boyfriend was in pain. what he doesn't know was that it was his fault. somehow their are more issues that alfred is dealing with than he is letting on. especially with his confidence in appearance. or at least that is just what alfred thinks. i hope arthur knows what he needs to do help alfred.
1. denial

Ch. 1

A moan escaped from my lips as I tossed and turned on my bed. My arms wrapped around my stomach. Sweat glistened from my forehead. The blanket I had up here was kicked to the floor by my restless legs and feet.

"I don't think I'll ever eat again after that." I said softly. My boyfriend cooked me dinner last night and now I'm paying for it this morning. 'I hope you like it because I've worked really hard on it.' He said to me. I couldn't just tell him that it was absolutely horrible. It would break his heart. So, I put on a brave face and was lucky to get it down that is until now. A knock emitted from the door. I moaned a response as he, Arthur Kirkland my boyfriend, entered the room. He came in carrying some water and pills.

"How are you doing, Alfred."

"Like I want to die, oh man that hurt." My arms got tighter around me as my body curled up into a fetal position.

"I honestly don't know what could to have caused this." His warm hand went to my face. "Come on open up this should help the pain." I opened my mouth long enough for him to give me the medicine and the water to help wash it down.

"Don't worry it's probably the stomach bug that's been going around at work. It's just finally catching up to me. I know last night I wasn't all put together." This is only partially true. He sat up on the bed gave me a comforting smile convinced of my little white lie.

"Now just rest you've got a long road ahead of you." He said to me as got up and left. My hands tried to massage my stomach to try to calm it down but proving to be ineffective. Time just seem to pass on by as I fell asleep. It wasn't until when Arthur shook me awake did I realize that the day went into the evening.

"Come on love let's get you a shower. I know it will make you feel a little bit better." He said as he helped me steady myself. We slowly walked on over to the bathroom. His hand on my waist, the other was gently but firmly on my left arm. Eventually we made it to the bathroom to only have the contents not agree with my stomach. I think Arthur must have sensed this because my body was in front of the toilet rather than a crumpled heap on the floor. "That's it just let your body do what it needs." He said softly in my ear as he rubbed circles in my back. Luckily, it was just a slurry mixture rather than chunks of the unknown, which means that at least my body had tried to digest it. Soon enough I was done and sat there blurry eyed for a bit because I didn't have my glasses on. It did make me feel better to get it out of my system. Arthur helped me up and got cleaned up. He brought me over to the living room to lie down on the couch. I was still feeling a little woozy, but otherwise fine after I'd gotten rid of what I had in my stomach. My head propped up on his lap as his hand ran through my hair. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." I responded as my stomach gave off a growl.

"Are you sure? That growl didn't sound good." He looked down into my eyes.

"It's alright it was nothing." He looked at me, shrugged his shoulders convinced.


	2. hospital confession

Ch. 2

It's been a week since; Alfred came down with the bug. I know that the noise that emitted from his stomach that day on the couch was not nothing, but I put a convinced look just to make him feel better. If he wanted to tell me about it, he will on his own. There have been some differences in Alfred's appearance, but I hadn't noticed how much of a difference there was until he got sick and I had to get him cleaned up. He had mentioned about a few months ago that how much he'd wanted to lose a bit of weight, but most of what he had was muscle not fat. The man has lost his ever-loving mind. I don't mind that he had done this, but Alfred needs to learn that it is okay to not be stick thin. He just needs to be healthy. Although I wouldn't mind if he decided to put some meat on those bones, I went into the downstairs area where he was running on the treadmill, quite fast I might add. Headphones in his ears playing some music, my hand waved in front of him so that he can notice me. Alfred shut off the treadmill, took the headphones out of his ears, and got off. His hand grabbing the sweat towel from the piece of exercise equipment he wiped his face and neck. That incessant growl came back again with a vengeance.

"Hey Arthur did you need something?" He said as he tried to smile his trademark, but it lacked its usual luster.

"Yes I was just wondering if you'd like to join me for dinner. I know that you've been working out harder than usual and I just want to make sure that you're getting the nourishment to back it up the progress you've made." I try to word my sentences carefully because I don't do it right he'll just shut me off.

"Well I don't know I'm halfway through my workout."

"Alfred, sweetheart, I'll be frank with you. You've been overdoing this whole workout thing out of proportion. I hardly ever see you outside of this room unless it's either to use the bathroom or to sleep. I know that you were sick a bit ago, but to rarely eat is not good for you. I'm not talking about the protein bars you eat either, a real sit down home-cooked meal." I'd seen that he was little pale in the face. "Alfred…Alfred, you listening to me."

"Yeah." He tried to walk away from me but it didn't work because he tripped over himself. The man is lucky that I was with him because I caught him and gently placed him on the floor.

"Alfred." I gently smacked his face with my hand to try to get him to focus. He turned his head away from me and vomited on the floor. A moan escaped from his lips after when he finished. I immediately called the ambulance for help. Soon enough Alfred was loaded up into the vehicle and taken to the hospital. I sat there inside the vehicle with him holding his hand. Tears welling up in my eyes unnoticed by me because I was more worried about the blue-eyed blonde on the gurney. We soon arrived to the hospital and I followed them until just outside the emergency room. My hand went to my face as the other went around my waist. I tried to hold back the tears, but I was worried about Alfred. I'd seen the decrease in his health, but now instead of letting him come to me. I just let him end up in this condition. I should have gotten more involved with his life. One hour later, but it felt like a lifetime had went by before I'd seen the doctor come to me and tell me of his status. Luckily, it had been just a lack of nutrition in his body that caused him collapse and vomit, his body was basically eating itself because he was taking in the amount needed, and that he was awake. I made my way to his room. My hand shaking on the handle as I turned the handle to gain entry into the room, a heart monitor beep echoed throughout the room. Slowly, my feet carried me inside the room. Alfred hooked up to the machine with an IV bag hooked up to his left hand. His eyes open looking down then up at me when I came into his line of vision then back down again. "Alfred." I said softly. "This is something that I'm not used to saying so I'm only going to say this once. I'm sorry." He looked up at me as I stood at the edge of the hospital bed.

"What for?" He asked in the same volume as I did.

"I'm sorry for not being able to get more involved in your life." I continued to confess to him all of the reasons as to why I was sorry. He still looked up at me with a look that was little less confused.

"Arthur, I should be the one who is. I should have gone to you when I had this problem. I didn't know where to start."

"The beginning is always the best place." I replied to him as I walked on over to him to hold his large right hand in both of mine. It was like the flood gates opened up. He told me how he'd always had self-image issues and lack of confidence because he was a more than average sized kid. Now that he has lost the excess weight. He never really learned in how to relish in his accomplishment of such an overweighing factor that controlled his childhood all the way up to college.

"It wasn't until I got to college when I started learning in how to take care of myself. I did everything from getting on the treadmill to lifting weights. I busted my a** to get to where I'm at, but it just didn't seem like it was enough. Every time I'd look in a mirror, I'd still see that fat slob standing in front of me. Like I was when I started college." He didn't make eye contact with me as he told me the story. I can only imagine that he feels like curling up in a corner just trying to make him as small as possible. I grabbed and handed him a Kleenex for the tears that were welling up in his eyes. "Then I saw you in my British literature class. You looked up at me and didn't do what almost everyone in my life has done. You didn't ridicule me over my weight."

"There's a reason for that Alfred. It was none of my business wither or not you decided to loss a few pounds. Besides what I didn't insult about your weight I made up for in your papers for uses of bad punctuation." He laughed a little with me on that remark. "Reasons aside Alfred, I just want you to be healthy. You can either stay the way you are now or you can, how would you say tip the scale. Preferably, I'd like for you to have a little bit more meat on these bones. You're absolutely scrawny like this I'd be afraid that if the wind blew you'd fly away with it."

"Okay, I get your point. I'll think about it."


	3. progress in the making

Six weeks later

It took some time but I believe he's finally realized that it's okay to have food in his stomach. I watched him like a hawk when it came around mealtime. Just making sure that he eats food that is good for him also to make sure that it stays down, with just being out of the hospital for six weeks he's put on a few pounds. A decent amount, tonight though is going to be a little different. I had made a pickup order of some of his favorite dishes. For the main course on the table is a plate of meat loaf, made with all ground beef, accompanied by a few servings of steaming creamy macaroni and cheese and a few servings of scalloped potatoes. He came on into the dining room where I am placing a tall glass of his favorite beverage, coke, at his seat at the table.

"Dinner is ready." He sat down at the head of the table.

"Artie, not that I don't appreciate you doing this for me, but I can't eat all of this." I stood there next to him.

"Just eat your fill then I'll put away what's leftover." I piled up his plate with what he wanted first. The plate was cleared in a few minutes. "Do you want more?" He nodded his head and filled it with a bit bigger portions. With Alfred on his second plate, the table was halfway cleared. It took a little longer but the plate was clear and his coke was gone. I refilled his glass and it was right then that I'd noticed a small bump around his midsection. The want center in my brain was telling me to rub it but another part of me wanted me to wait a bit longer.

"Alright I'm done. I'm full."

"Are you certain? You want to leave all of this delicious cuisine on the table. I did order this much because I thought you were hungry." He let out a belch away from me.

"Okay I think I have a bit more room." He released a few more as I filled up his plate with the rest of the food. His hand picked up the fork once more and fed himself. Each swallow is making him slightly bigger. He took two more refills of his coke, but it all eventually made it to his overfilled stomach. "Oh man, I totally ate too much." He placed is hands on his distended stomach, trying to soothe the pain, but proving to be somewhat effective.

"Come on Alfred let's get you lied down on something comfortable." I said to him as I tried to get him up out of the chair.

"Movement is not an option right now." He said poking his bloated stomach.

"It's actually better for you to move." He let out another belch and got up, with my help. I guided him to our bedroom. His body flopped down on the bed. Normally, I would condone this action, but since he was in pain. I decided to let it slide this once. He laid there on his back. I straddled him at his crotch area.

"Not right now babe I'm in some serious pain." He said with his hands on the sides of his stomach.

"Just give me a bit of credit, sweetheart. Not everything I do is going to end up in sex. Now I think I know where some of the pain is coming from, just bear with me." I said to him as I raised his shirt a little bit, enough to get above his pants. My hands undid his belt that held up his pants. He let out a sigh of relief. It was then I noticed that it was on the last notch on the belt, which is a good thing because when this whole thing started he had at least four notches on his belt. I weaved the belt out of its loops. "Soon enough you won't need this thing to hold up your pants." He could at least breathe better without the belt, but I went a little further and unbuttoned his jeans as well. "Is this better for you sweetie?" A moan released itself from his mouth as he nodded his head. "Good maybe this will to." My hands went to where his are at and rubbed his aching stomach with care in circular motions. The movement of my hands gradually lifted his shirt higher up to his chest. If Alfred would have worn a fitted shirt like he is now. It probably would look snug on him, but he wore a loose fitting t-shirt. So, it wouldn't have been noticeable unless if you knew it was there. I'm certain with a few more pounds that won't be the case, but for now, I'm just relishing it and for what is to come. This time I'll make sure that, he gets the proper care he needs and deserves. He won't become immobile, but hopefully happier when he is softer.

Thank you everyone who took time out of there schedule to read this. if you like this story i have more on deviantart. my pen name is zutarafan4evea. so, please stop on by. i welcome anyone who wants to take a look around.


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